We humans live our lives on the basis of what we believe. Beliefs are thoughts or ideas that have built through repetition and have become “truth” for us. It’s important for us to realize that beliefs are held in the subconscious mind, which believes anything that is repeated often enough as “true” (something advertisers certainly know). Herein lies our... Read More
Do you know that guilt is not even a real emotion?
Real emotions have both a positive and a negative aspect. Love, for example, is positive in all the ways we humans know. But it’s negative if you are given love that you don’t want (or from someone you don’t want... Read More
Human beings learn through their experiences. What are the things I wish had been included in my early learning, which would also be beneficial for all children?
Babies are born with a level of confidence that ensures their survival, when uncomfortable, hungry, or unhappy, babies cry to alert those nearby to... Read More
Let’s get one thing straight from the outset: The emotions you experience are not “yours!” Emotions seem like they belong to us, because we alone experience them, but they really arise in us. Emotions are messengers. They come to offer a message about how to navigate our life. Which emotions reveal themselves is... Read More
Depression is one of the most debilitating states we can find ourselves in. In our society, sadly, we tend to accept “being depressed” as somewhat of a normal state. After working close to a half-century as a marriage and family therapist based in California, I’ve had the opportunity to help people relieve themselves of depression. In working with my... Read More
Human beings are designed to “grow out of” manipulation/co-dependence, just as we outgrow bed-wetting! Have you ever heard this before? Most people have not. We accept that we must tolerate manipulation, co-dependent behaviors, and “toxic people” because “that’s what human beings do.”
Toxic people are born, not made! You, and every other human being, were born manipulative (I’ll... Read More
You were born manipulative! Everyone is.
It’s impossible for a newborn child to function independently and responsibly on his or her own. The body and brain are not developed. The newborn needs an “agent”—someone who can use their more developed body and brain to accomplish the tasks of living and who... Read More
Neglecting to offer the emotions we feel a pathway for them to move on has an effect similar to a hoarder who buys more and more, cluttering the home with all the purchased goods, many of which never even get opened! Soon, the hoarder has trouble moving through his/her home. In a... Read More
Now, we need to explore the emotions to better understand of what they want us to become aware. For all of us, emotions say things like “you’re feeling manipulated,” “you’re feeling angry,” or “you’re quite jealous.” Knowing the places in our body where each of these “common-to-us-all emotional messages” registers, we can speed our understanding and our reaction times.Read More